


always been my center

by 5ftjewishcactus



Series: Unlove You Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Caring Crowley (Good Omens), Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Love, Nightmares, No Sex, No Smut, Other, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Sad Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sharing a Bed, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21947173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus
Summary: Aziraphale sits awake one night watching his demon sleeping and his thoughts drift to all the times he thought he was going to lose him forever and how amazed he is that Crowley is there with him after everything.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Unlove You Prompt Fills [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521779
Comments: 9
Kudos: 100
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens





	always been my center

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Unlove You Prompt "I'm awake and you're breathing." Prompts from [un-love-you](https://un-love-you.livejournal.com/) on livejournal.

Aziraphale didn't sleep. Or more he didn't need sleep and preferred to spend the time reading. But following the almost apocalypse, Aziraphale found himself spending time in bed. He still didn't sleep. But the demon next to him did. Aziraphale still preferred to read at night, while the rest of the world slept. But lately, he found his attention on his book drifting. No matter how engrossing the story would normally be, his eyes would wander from the pages to the demon sleeping next to him. He'd sit and watch as Crowley slept, tucked comfortably into the blankets of Aziraphale's bed. Their bed. The tension that the demon usually carried gone from his features. Relaxed and at ease. And as long as Aziraphale was looking at him, he knew Crowley was still there, still alive and breathing.

Aziraphale had stood, wearing Crowley's face, and watched his worst fear become a reality. Hell had meant to kill Crowley with Holy Water. If they hadn't deciphered Agnes' prophecy correctly, Aziraphale would've lost him forever. (Never mind that his old side would've killed him with Hellfire. He'd already made his choice when he'd turned his back on his platoon.)

He could still remember the way his hands had shaken when he'd read Crowley's request all those years ago. The ice that had pierced his heart at the suggestion that Crowley would give up, give in, and leave him. Thousands of years they'd been on the Earth together. Enemies and friends and something more that Aziraphale didn't want to admit at the time. Even as Crowley had denied it, had said it was only insurance, Aziraphale's mind was a flutter with the reality that he'd lose Crowley if he gave in to the demon's request. So he'd thrown the note into the pond and stormed away, pushing Crowley away before Crowley could leave him. Eight years later and Crowley was there, still alive, still fighting, and saving Aziraphale like he'd done so many times in the past.

One hundred and five years after Crowley's first request for Holy Water, when word first reached him of Crowley's caper, all Aziraphale could think about were the ways it could all go wrong. All the ways he could lose Crowley. Humans who wouldn't know the truth about Crowley, who wouldn't know what the Holy Water could do to him, how it could hurt him. Or worse. So he'd chosen to trust Crowley. That when he'd said he didn't want it as a suicide pill, that he'd meant it. He chose to trust Crowley with the Holy Water. But he hadn't been ready to trust him with his heart.

That had taken more time. And Crowley had waited. Despite every terrible thing Aziraphale had said to him. Even at the end of the world, when Aziraphale had said the worst things.

_I don't even like you._

_There isn't an 'our side', Crowley. Not anymore. It's over._

A lump caught in Aziraphale's throat as he remembered watching Crowley walk away at the bandstand.

"Angel?" Crowley's sleep rumbled voice asked from the pile of blankets next to the angel.

"Go back to sleep." Aziraphale's voice was thick with the tears he was trying to hold back.

In less than the blink of an eye, Crowley was sat up next to him, worry in golden eyes as they studied the angel's face.

"Angel, Aziraphale, what's wrong?" Crowley asked, holding out his arms.

Aziraphale moved into those arms, accepting Crowley's embrace as he finally let the tears fall. Crowley's arms held him around his wide middle, one hand rubbing his back as he tried to sooth his angel. He was warm from the blankets he'd been curled up in and he tucked Aziraphale against his chest. His lips brushed against the crown of Aziraphale's head as the angel cried against him. Aziraphale didn't know how to explain to Crowley why he was crying. It felt stupid, really, foolish even. Overwhelmed by the sight of his demon asleep next to him, safe and alive, after everything they'd been through. After everything he'd said and done.

"It's okay, angel. Whenever you're ready. Or not all. But I'm here," Crowley whispered, voice soft and soothing.

"I'm awake," Aziraphale started, still trying to find the words, "and you're breathing…"

"If I was snoring, I apologize," Crowley said, trying to cheer his angel up.

"No. You're here. With me. Whole and safe." Aziraphale sat up and looked at Crowley, one plump hand coming up to hold an angled cheek. "Sometimes I can't believe that you're really here."

Crowley leaned into Aziraphale's touch, placed a bony hand over the plump one. "Where else would I be if not here with you?"

Aziraphale shrugged.

"Exactly. You are always where I've wanted to be and who I've wanted to be with. Six thousand years and that never once changed. Not even when we disagreed or fought. You, my angel, my love, have always been my center."

And Aziraphale was crying again, but this time happy tears, a smile making his round face glow like the sun.

"Oh, Crowley, my darling, my love."

Aziraphale held Crowley's face with both his soft hands and kissed him. Crowley's arms wrapped around all of the angel's soft, wide middle and held him close.

"I wake up sometimes," Crowley whispered, "scared that I dreamt all this and that you won't be here. It's why I asked you that first night if you'd sit with me."

"Crowley."

"I'm not done. Adam may have restored the bookshop and I will be forever grateful to him for restoring you and it. But those flames were real. They engulfed this building and you weren't here. You weren't anywhere and I was so alone. And terrified because there was nothing left for me. Not without you."

Tears were falling from Crowley's golden eyes, the whites of his eyes completely overtaken by his serpentine eyes.

"Dearest, darling, beloved. As soon as I realized that the Almighty wasn't going to step in and stop the apocalypse, I called you. I was coming for you. I came to you, once I realized I could."

Crowley's eyebrows knit in confusion. "You mean in the bar?"

Aziraphale nodded. "I didn't know how to navigate and all I could think was 'I need to find Crowley' and there you were. Or there I was, with you."

Crowley smiled, his fond smile, the one that caused dimples to appear on his cheeks. "Angel."

"You're my center, too, Crowley."

The angel was pulled in for a deep kiss, Crowley's lips soft and warm and insistent. His pointed nose pressed into Aziraphale's soft cheek, but the angel didn't mind. He wrapped the demon in his thick, strong arms and held him just as close as Crowley held him. Aziraphale leaned his forehead against Crowley's.

"We're okay," he said.

"Yeah, we are."

Aziraphale smiled and kissed the tip of Crowley's nose.

"Lay down with me? We can keep holding each other and maybe, you could try sleeping."

"Yes, I'd like that."

Crowley kissed the tip of Aziraphale's upturned nose and then slowly pulled out of the angel's arms. He slid back under the sheets and once comfortable, held out his arms to Aziraphale again. The angel curled up next to Crowley, tucked under the blankets and with his arms around Crowley's waist and his head on Crowley's chest. The demon's arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. Aziraphale listened to the beating of Crowley's heart, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and let the sounds lull him to sleep.

Aziraphale didn't sleep. But after that night curled up in his demon's arms, Aziraphale found that he liked to sleep. When the doubts and fears started to creep in, he could find comfort in Crowley's arms while also reassuring Crowley that he was here, that they were together and it was real. The best part was waking up in the mornings was seeing his love, safe and whole and alive. Crowley would open his eyes and look at Aziraphale, golden eyes full of love and Aziraphale knew he looking at Crowley with love in return.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr [@5ftjewishcactus](https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/) or on twitter on my main [@5ftjewishcactus](https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus) or on my sfw gen fandom [@2ambiace](https://twitter.com/2ambiace) or my dbh [@asexualhankcon](https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon).


End file.
